Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize