my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
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It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
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after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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