Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize