dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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