You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
