"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
This is the high leading the old right now
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
