i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.