Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
