i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
