Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
