if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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