he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
