There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I checked into jail on foursquare
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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