i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.