You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex