You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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