I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Hippo gnu deer
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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