I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Fuck appropriateness.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize