i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Randomize
