Fuck appropriateness.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
