If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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