Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize