My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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