She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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