He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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