The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
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