from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
3pm strippers are depressing
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Someone came in the potted fern
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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