i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
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