i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
