Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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