'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
