belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
