How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
