It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize