called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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