I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm experimenting with sincerity
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
