He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Well I just put wine in my tea
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
