I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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