he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
