I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?