did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
honey bunches of taint.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
