Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
