Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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