Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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