OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
