I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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