he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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