and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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