reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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