porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried