i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
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You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this