My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.