Texts From Last Night

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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me

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  (403): If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me http://tfl.nu/3lvx
  Replies (25) Good night (1060) Bad night (3518)
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  (845): View more from New York

  no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.

  (516): View more from New York

  You wear Armani Exchange.

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  (845): no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue. (516): You wear Armani Exchange. http://tfl.nu/2dtf
  Replies (16) Good night (790) Bad night (2240)
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  (951): View more from California

  As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it

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  (951): As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it http://tfl.nu/zufl
  Replies (9) Good night (2525) Bad night (840)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?

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  (401): when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed? http://tfl.nu/66dn
  Replies (15) Good night (964) Bad night (6694)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.

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  (914): This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive. http://tfl.nu/c66s
  Replies (11) Good night (1191) Bad night (4111)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.

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  (+44): When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly. http://tfl.nu/m7vb
  Replies (16) Good night (4363) Bad night (1264)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.

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  (859): She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times. http://tfl.nu/xxc1
  Replies (8) Good night (1317) Bad night (3712)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.

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  (817): So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds. http://tfl.nu/0h3c
  Replies (7) Good night (1659) Bad night (829)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I feel like everything in this room is sweating

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  (506): I feel like everything in this room is sweating http://tfl.nu/iaml
  Replies (2) Good night (840) Bad night (1207)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..

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  (828): Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask.. http://tfl.nu/ioqq
  Replies (8) Good night (710) Bad night (2671)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?

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  (717): Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear? http://tfl.nu/yvgn
  Replies (3) Good night (1254) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.

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  (651): When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end. http://tfl.nu/o22d
  Replies (17) Good night (686) Bad night (2791)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.

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  (479): I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers. http://tfl.nu/959h
  Replies (7) Good night (539) Bad night (327)
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  (909): View more from California

  Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.

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  (909): Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work. http://tfl.nu/qyvz
  Replies (2) Good night (418) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu

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  (774): I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu http://tfl.nu/fa6n
  Replies (2) Good night (357) Bad night (154)

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