Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
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My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
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I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We are all done wearing pants today