Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.

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(240): View more from Maryland

she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.

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(613): View more from Ontario

Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...

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(716): View more from New York

she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.

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These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Read it at the TFLN blog
(409): View more from Texas

Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa

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(513): View more from Ohio

He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"

(703): View more from Virginia

LET IT GO MOM

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.

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