I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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