dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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