you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
