walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
