do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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