I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize