I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
This girl is more easily done than said...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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