I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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