weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Randomize
